Monday, May 20, 2013

He called me Auntie

My friend comes up to me and tells me that one of the youth called me Auntie.

In the Filipino culture, you have a lot of aunties and uncles. They don't have to be your blood relative. They just have to be significantly older than you. Most likely your parents' friends.

When did I become an Auntie?!?!

Most of the youth call me "ate" (ah-teh) or older sister because we grew up together. I knew many of them when they were barely 5 years old. They were, as it turns out, my Sunday School kids...and many of them are now my Children's Ministry leaders.

But there's a wave of new youth coming in the church. We haven't known each other long, and I'm only in their peripheral vision. I'm the children's ministry director that's always painting, cleaning, and organizing the children's room during Youth Nights. I'm the person they go to if they want to help out in Sunday School. I'm Brian's oldest sister.

Alright, so they may not know me well, but Auntie??? As if!

I scoff.

I recoil.

I deny.

So what if the Auntie-caller is 11-12 years my junior?
I'm still young. I'm down with it. Know what I mean? So quit icing my grill. Aiight?





Friday, May 17, 2013

Book 10: "Really No Big Deal"

Book 10 (of 26): Really No Big Deal
Author: Margaret Bechard
Copyright: 1994, Viking (Penguin Books division)

What I liked most about Really No Big Deal was how it captured the internal and external awkwardness of adolescence.

I bought this book from the local library because the protagonist was a boy, Jonah, who not only has to navigate his way through puberty but also the fact that his mom is dating his school principal. It was bound to be a funny read.

And it was. I did read it a bit more academically though, because I wanted to see how Bechard captured the adolescent boy. And how I could incorporate her techniques in my own writing. I think she did it well, from the well placed descriptions of Jonah's cracking voice to awkward first kisses.

I'm not a big fan of the ending. It was a snapshot of reality instead of a happily ever after. Snapshots of reality are like open endings. You are left feeling that life is going to go on for the characters and that perhaps there's a second book or maybe a series. There's maybe one or two tiny loose ends that won't bug you, but instead remind you what life is like. Maybe leave you wondering and imagining. Happy ever afters tie everything together and leave you feeling good about the story.

So I like happy ever afters. But I've ended some of my own stories with snapshots of reality. I think I'm going to stop doing that :-)


Really No Big Deal

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Book 9: "The Amazing Secret"

Book 9 (of 26): The Amazing Secret
Authors: Joni Eareckson Tada & Steve Jensen
Copyright: 2000, Crossway Books

The very first thing I would tell you about reading The Amazing Secret is that it made me cry...a few times. It's the story about Darcy. She's a paraplegic and stuck in the hospital because of a pressure sore. She meets a boy named Eric, who was different in a good way. He ultimately helps her, and by the time she goes home from the hospital, she's on a mission to help a very specific person. But she has to find him first.

The first great aspect about this book is that the heroine has a disability. She's in the hospital to heal from a physical pain, but she has some internal healing to do too.

This is a Christian fiction story. The characters are distinct and presented well. You see how human they are, which I liked because your faith - whatever faith it is - doesn't make you perfect. And we see a lot of Darcy's growth in this story.

So yes, this book made me cry several times. There were very touching and poignant moments...at times heart-breaking. I tear as I remember.

Anyway, I predicted where the book was going and the outcome of Darcy's mission, but upon reflection, I don't think it was actually predictable. It's just a me-thing from having a lot of different plots in my head (from books, movies, and TV shows). I think the end would be a twist for readers. It's not quite all tied up with a bow. I don't like loose endings, and I could see how this book can have a very loose end for young readers. The outcome of Darcy's mission could raise questions, but it's a good talking point between kids and adults...if it happens.

This book actually has a lot of good talking points or discussion moments that will make kids think about their own faith, how they treat others, how they treat people with disabilities, and how they handle internal struggles. But again, this is only a positive thing if a discussion will actually happen.

I think The Amazing Secret is a good read to open kids eyes about other kids with disabilities. But a word of caution. The things that made me cry were very real-life scenarios that many kids have faced, but not all kids have faced. This book is a good opportunity for parents to have some talks with their kids.

In other news, I'm catching up on my reading :-) Although, I feel like it's a bit of a cheat because they're kids books and I devour them in a couple of hours. Hopefully, I can make up for it by exceeding my goal of 26 books in a year. Or actually getting past my writer's block trench that I'm having a hard time climbing out of.

The Amazing Secret (Darcy and Friends, No. 1)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Delegation in the Ministry

Do this real quick. Google "Bible delegation" and you'll get over 2,000,000 hits. So I'm not going to write what the Bible says about delegation and what lessons we can learn from different Bible people. Instead, here are some things I learned about delegation in the ministry.

Let go of fear.
When I first started delegating, I was scared things won't go the right way. Then I realized that I was scared things won't go my way. I had to let go of that fear and that pride. It's not my way that has to unfold. It's not even my leaders' ways. It's God's way. When I wasn't scared of what will or might happen, I saw how creative and innovative my leaders were. I saw how God was using them for His way. It was awesome!

Be available.
Delegating doesn't mean you micro-manage and it certainly doesn't mean you disappear. I learned to remind my leaders that I'm only a phone call or text or FB message or email or face-to-face away. I'm there if they need me. I answer their questions, remind them of deadlines, or inform them of any changes in the church schedule that might affect what they're planning.



Give guidelines
I learned that I need to give my leaders guidelines. For example, I would put a leader in charge of Fathers' Day. I tell him/her what needs to be planned and the budget, if any. I remind my leaders to check out our resource cabinet before buying anything, to get what they're going to buy approved first, and to save their receipts. If needed, I point them to places where they can find craft or activity ideas. I also give them lesson options, if applicable.

If lessons are needed, I get more involved because I'm very cautious to make sure that lessons are Biblically sound and agrees with our doctrines.

Give them a little push.
Sometimes, it's not you refusing to let go. It's them! Imagine a baby bird learning to fly. It wants to, but it holds back. But it will never fly without leaving the nest. Sometimes my leaders need a little push.

You can do it! Think about it. What do you think? What are your options? What do you want to do? Have I told you that you can do it? Well, you can!

Thank them. Appreciate them. Encourage them.
People need this. When working with volunteers, this is especially important. When you're in charge, sometimes you would get the praise for a job well done even if you delegated the event. I make sure to point to my leaders. Make sure you don't take credit for their work. In the ministry, all credit goes to God anyway. But God uses the people around you and they need to know they made a difference. So if a praise was given, say something like, "Praise the Lord! I'm glad you were blessed. God used Jane to plan it all. She was very creative with the theme!"

Give them feedback.
I make sure to give my leaders feedback if needed. We're establishing our Toddlers' Class. I rotate teaching with a young leader who was my TA in the Preschool Class. She stepped up to teach, and one Sunday she taught on her own (with her own Teacher's Aid) for the first time. The lesson theme was "God Made Me," but the story also brought in the other things God made (everything). My co-teacher hand drew this great coloring page of the solar system. I really liked it, but it was not age-appropriate to the Toddlers. So I told her how great it was and that it would work better for older age groups. Then I quickly gave her info on Toddlers' worldviews and what they can understand, giving her examples of real kids in her life. It was like a lightbulb went on and she got it. It was quick feedback that we can build on at a later training session.

Give them feedback. Be positive. Relate it to something they know. And build on it later if needed. But give feedback so they can improve themselves.

Watch them grow.
One of the things I gained from delegating in the ministry was watching my leaders grow. I love delegating them to emcee the events they planned. They get scared and anxious because public speaking is a big deal to many people. But there's something about being in front of the entire church, on the altar, behind the pulpit (we don't actually have a pulpit anymore), and on the stage. It's not just public speaking that weighing down on you, it's the pressure of representing God in front of others.

Maybe I'm a little cruel for doing that to my leaders, but I've been amazed at how they've grown. I've seen the same leaders who cowered before rise up and actually lead! Some have even gone on to preach! Like I said. Some need the right push in order to fly. You've got to be sensitive to their spiritual giftings though, as well as their capabilities and their potential.

Have a little faith.
During VBS, I put one of my leaders in charge of the snacks area. It's her first time leading by herself. She had to plan the snacks, prepare the materials, and buy what was needed. I've known her for years and I trust her, but I wasn't sure of her financial abilities. I stepped out in faith anyway. I gave her guidelines, a budget, and the money. And she did amazing! Her mom even thanked me for giving her the opportunity because she took it very seriously. She planned it all down on paper, had the costs, had a running total, divided the materials so they last several days, and was just so responsible. I knew she's capable of so many things, but she showed us that she can exceed what we saw in her.

Sometimes, you just need a little faith in people. Don't be careless, of course, especially when money is involved. But don't be cynical either. People can surprise you.

Have high standards/Aim for excellence
I strongly believe that people in the ministry are held to higher standards of...well, everything. And when you delegate, you need to hold your leaders or volunteers to high standards, to excellence. Some leaders think that their volunteers are doing them a favor. They're putting so much into the ministry already, so [insert action here] is okay. It's not. Essentially, what we all do in the ministry is not for us. It's for God and the furtherance of His Kingdom.

God will raise and put in place the right people to help you in the ministry, so don't be scared that people will walk away if you expect more from them. Don't overwork them like ministry minions, but hold them to higher standards, hold them to excellence. This is for God anyway, so why wouldn't we give our best?

I've been in the ministry for over 10 years, and I've been through moments when the absolute best was expected and when no expectation was communicated. The former had better outcomes. When a challenged is issued, there are people who rise up to it and people who leave. Like when Jesus taught the hard stuff, some followers deserted Him. Those who stayed ended up doing amazing things. Aim for excellence, and if people leave, it's okay. God will provide. And for those that stayed, watch out for how God will use them.

Don't be afraid to delegate in the ministry. There are wonderful things that can happen. Be open to what God will do.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Book 8: "The Fairy Rebel"

Book 8 (of 26): The Fairy Rebel
Author: Lynne Reid Banks
Illustrated by: William Geldart
Copyright: 1985, Delacorte Press

The book belongs to my sister. She searched for it and bought it. For her, it was one of those stories that stick with you, you can't get it out of your mind, and you just have to read it again. It's a very easy read so she lent it to me when I told her I needed to read more children's books. She didn't even realize it's older than her.

The Fairy Rebel really was an easy read. It was entertaining, written in a storytelling way that would make this a fun read-out-loud. The illustrations were also wonderfully artistic.

It's about a fairy named Tiki and her forbidden friendship with a human woman named Jan. Tiki's rebellious to begin with, wearing jeans and all. But when she finds out that Jan's lonely and sad because she can't have children, Tiki devices a way to make her friend's greatest dream come true. But doing so pits her against the evil fairy Queen.

There were many humorous moments in the story, much of it from Banks' descriptions.

Jan loved tress. She also loved sweet things to eat. She loved them too much in a way, because now that she couldn't get much exercise, she began to put on weight. Soon, instead of being slim, she was rather roly-poly.

Although, there were times when I couldn't follow her descriptions, Banks was overall funny and imaginative in weaving together a fantastical world of gnomes, elves, and fairies. And her scarier scenes actually scared me. They pumped a sense of danger, thrill, and the right amount of evil for readers to take the Queen seriously.

The Fairy Rebel is a recommended read. It will engage imaginations.


The Fairy Rebel by Banks, Lynn (Google Affiliate Ad)